Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize