He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
