sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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