yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
