So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
