i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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