Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
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I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
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I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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