I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
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He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
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to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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