Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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