She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
