What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize