maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
