Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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