you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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