Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
