there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
