Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize