Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
