I wish they made helmets for livers.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
