Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
