Having a random hookup so left but love u
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
