Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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