As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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