he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
