even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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