Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
