I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
