What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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