omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
A bitchslap is in order.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
