Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
