Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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