I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
