The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
