wanna go halves on a baby?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
