U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
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Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
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So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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