No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
