Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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