If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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