I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
