Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
