eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was not drunk enough for that final.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
