if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
