I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
