I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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