xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
