Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
