i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
