I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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