Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
