smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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