Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
not ubering you a puppy
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
