you guys were way drunker than both of me
You can't special order awesome
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
