Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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