I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
